This week’s question was: How do I deal with nerves and shaky hands that stop me performing for my friends and family? A few people offered advice, and I’ll run through mine too.
If it’s specifically the shaky hands that bother you, try clenching your fists in and out. It is the adrenaline from anxiety that causes the shaking, and this can warm your hands up and help dissipate that adrenaline. But really, you’re putting far more pressure on yourself than you need to. Someone pointed this out in the comments as well: don’t build it up. Remember your goal—simply to entertain your friends and family with a hobby you enjoy. They want to see you do what you love.
I’ve gone to watch friends run marathons and do all sorts of things. It doesn’t matter where they place; you’re just thrilled for them. Get into that mindset. They haven’t seen performers like Lennart Green. Even now, if I pick a card, sign it, it gets lost, and someone finds it—no idea how—I’m entertained. It can be the simplest card trick. That’s all you need to do, and they’ll love it. They’re your friends and family—they’re on your side. If they see you’re nervous and your hands are shaking, their support will kick in. We all get scared of performing and public speaking. They will understand.
And remember: what’s the worst that can happen? If you mess up, you mess up. If you accidentally reveal a secret, you accidentally reveal a secret. We get far too stressed about “secrets” in our little world. Your friends and family are likely to forget it; it’s nowhere near as important to them as it is to you. Don’t build up those fears in the first place.
Another piece of advice mentioned was to create a persona. That’s really useful. It doesn’t need to be a big character. The word “persona” comes from the Greek masks used in theatre—how you present yourself. It’s not actually you. The great thing is that you can change your persona instantly. You can maintain it for life if you want—think of it like CBT—or you can adopt it just for the ten minutes you’re performing. Simply act like a confident person. If you want a more defined character or alter ego, that’s also fine.
Then there’s trick selection. Keep it really simple to start with. You can do Out of This World, many Paul Curry effects, Power of Thought, Shuffle-Bored by Simon Aronson, a ten-card poker deal, Gemini Twins—there are so many brilliant self-working card tricks that will absolutely floor your friends and make them think you have real skill. Then you can start bringing in sleights.
The thing with sleights is that we notice our hands shaking because we’re looking down at them, trying to make sure the move is perfect. That comes from how we practice. When we rehearse a double lift or a pass, we watch our hands to see if the move is visible or smooth. Then, in performance, we do the same thing. That puts our attention on our hands and draws everyone else’s attention to them too.
The best approach is to practice while looking at a camera or with a trusted friend—or even your dog—while speaking out loud and actually performing the routine. Sometimes we rehearse only in our heads rather than saying the words. Make your practice as close to real performance as possible. Perform it a lot for as many people as you can. Eventually, you’ll lose the shakes. They might return when you try something new, or when performing for someone you really respect, but it will get easier.